My anti-resolution

Happy Belated New Year! I started thinking about this post in early January, but life happens, thoughts stew and marinade and I am just now getting around to putting those thoughts into words.

My 2012 was quite memorable; filled with adventure, happiness and some pain. I celebrated another year of cancer survival, another year of life, another year of marriage. We celebrated my son’s 1^st wedding anniversary and our 1st anniversary living back in Illinois.  We traveled many places I’d never been before, had many new experiences and met many new people. It was a good year (despite a bunion surgery that two months later still plaques me with much angst).

Like many of you, a few weeks ago I found myself “smack dap” in the midst of New Year’s resolution season.  I pondered whether or not I would bother with the mental exercise of formulating a 2013 New Year’s resolution. On the one hand, I think it is a bit silly to annually resolve to do this, that or the other thing only to repeatedly fail. Why put yourself through that? On the other hand, I am all for self- improvement, so why not give it another go? Maybe this year will be different.

As is my normal habit, I quickly decided not to bother with declaring an annual resolution. 

Unlike most years though, I surprisingly found myself spending quite a bit of time thinking about the whole concept of resolution making. Why are resolutions so hard to keep? The following definition offered some insight:

Resolution: the mental state or quality of being resolved or resolute; firmness of purpose.

So I concluded that keeping a resolution requires a certain mental discipline, a firm commitment to the cause, a resolute mind-set. It is not for the faint hearted or the wishy-washy. All the more reason for me not to bother…

If making a resolution was not the appropriate way for me to usher in the new year, I found myself wondering, “what is?”  

Upon further reflection I concluded that It seems to me resolutions are all made for the same reason; to improve one’s life in the new year. Since most of us don’t seem to have the necessary energy and fortitude it takes to do so, I would like to suggest that there is a better way. I would like to suggest we look at the whole idea of bettering our lives in the new year a little differently…

As a cancer survivor I have a unique perspective on new years. For me, each new year is truly a gift. I do not take 2013 for granted. I have been gifted with 13 years since my cancer diagnosis. 13 years that at one time I knew were not guaranteed. And so, it is easy for me to be positive and thankful as I enter each new year. But I also soberly acknowledge that if God is blessing me with the privilege of living another year He must have a reason, a plan, an objectives for me to meet in 2013.

 For me I believe that the best way to improve my life in 2013 is to take on an attitude of introspection. And so I will not resolve to accomplish any one thing in particular this year. Rather I will choose to get to know my God better and in turn get to know myself better. My resolutions will end up being whatever God so purposed for me to do in 2013. On January 1^st of each year I will not guess at what I should resolve to do in the new year, rather I will wait quietly for God’s still small voice to reveal one plan after another until December rolls around and I can reflect back acknowledging all the resolutions God had for me in 2013. Resolution I was not aware of on January 1.

And so, I will not resolve to do anything in 2013, other than listen to God throughout the year and be sensitive to what He is calling me to do in my home, at work, in my church and in my community. He will be the resolution creator, not me. Ultimately, doesn’t it make sense to let the God of the universal ordain my resolutions for me?

God, I love you, I trust you. I give you 2013. This year please change me into the person you want me to be. Make me more like you.  Give me sensitivity  to your voice. Make me your hands and feet. Use me to accomplish your purposes. Open my eyes, make your desires for my life clear to me.

Take away all the junk in my life that keeps me from clearly seeing your will for me.  I acknowledge that right now I do not know what you would have me do with this year but I will resolve to do with my hours, days, months and years  whatever it is you want. I gladly surrender 2013 to my loving Heavenly Father.

I am excited to see what you resolve for me to do with 2013!