This has not been a good week…the reality of cancer has
reared its’ ugly head. As a cancer survivor committed to encouraging hope, I
avoid going to the place that allows cancer to win. Not the war, but some
battles. I guess it is inevitable…but I still choose to always hope for the
best. At times like this though, I have
to admit I just don’t understand…
Two weeks ago a friend lost her battle with thyroid cancer
which was the result of treatments many years ago for lymphoma. How much does
that stink? Not one, but two cancers in one life time...so unfair
Then came Robin Robert’s announcement that her breast cancer
treatments had led to a rare blood disorder diagnosis. A bone marrow transplant
is in her near future. Again, not one but two cancers…
On top of that, a few days ago I was informed that a young
mom of three who was in the midst of a cord blood bone marrow transplant for
stage 4 lymphoma was losing her fight. On hospice, the doctors say there is no
more that they can do.
Well, that was the straw that broke the proverbial camel’s
back. I cried out to God, “Why????” Why did he bless these two dear women with
so many good things in life then take them home at such young ages? Could it
possibly be God’s will for three little boys to live life without their mom?
What about the husband who has lost the love of his life? The questions
snowballed; the answers did not come…
…for a while.
But as is usual in my world, once my ranting, crying and
questioning had ceased the still small voice of God’s Holy Spirit whispered wisdom
to my troubled mind. Here’s what I heard.
HEAVEN IS COMPLETE AND TOTAL AWESOMENESS!
When sick people die I know we always talk about heaven being
a place free from pain, but I’d never really thought about how totally amazing
it must be. It has to be so perfect that all the pain it takes to get there is
worth it. We have to trust the lives of
those loved ones left behind to a great God who loves them and has a perfect
plan for their lives despite the loss of their loved one.
I need to visualize those who leave us not as little
nymphs floating around in the clouds but as whole, complete and perfected
beings living in the almighty God’s presence, an existence so beautiful and
entertaining and purposeful that we cannot even imagine. A place where time is on
another world continuum, where in the blink of an eye they will be reunited
with all their loved ones: pasts, present and future…like your favorite
vacation spot times a million. I could
go on but you get the idea, I’m sure.
So here’s what I’m going to do the next time I am grieving the
imminent death of someone I care for. I will not focus on why God is allowing
them to die. I will remind myself that before we were conceived God knew how
long we would live. This is not a mistake. Though I don’t get it, this IS His
perfect plan. I must rest in this truth.
Then I will pray that God’s spirit will minister peace to
their fleeting soul. That in their sleeping moments they will see glimpses of
glory that will gently prepare them for the adventure ahead. That the journey
will not be fraught with panic but peace and an overwhelming sense of being
loved and cared for by their heavenly Father who is beckoning them to a new and
better life. (It’s too bad we have to die alone. Why can’t we gather all our
favorite people, get on the party bus and head to eternity together?)
I will
trust that because we are made in God’s image, He understands our fears and will
in His own perfect, loving, fatherly way escort each of us on our final journey
home.
