The Lies We Believe

I am so thankful for the fellow cancer survivors I have met since sharing my cancer journey on various websites and now this blog.  As cancer survivors we need each other. I take very seriously the unique situation I find myself in as a long term Multiple Myeloma Survivor. I have a voice that can give something… something that is priceless, really… and that is HOPE. 

When it comes right down to it, from the moment of our diagnosis the one thing we most desperately need  is HOPE. With hope we can conquer any treatment our doctor throws our way. With hope we can smile amidst the pain. With hope we can laugh despite the fear. 

 Sadly though, we seem to have a natural bend towards sabotaging our hope. What do I mean by this?
 For me, daily negative thoughts tried to rob me of my hope. Voices in my mind argued that there was NO HOPE. The internet shouted at me that Multiple Myeloma is incurable. Who did I think I was? Was I so special I could beat this evil demon? 

And so it went… new day, different words, but always the same message “Stop kidding yourself, you can’t beat this beast”. 

 As I’ve mentioned before I was blessed to have a care giver who constantly affirmed that I COULD beat this disease and that I WOULD beat this disease. His encouragement allowed me to find some balance, but the negative thoughts were still a challenge. 

I have had other survivors tell me that though their treatments are behind them and their remission is strong, their quality of life is daily hindered by negative thoughts about the longevity of their remission. I can so relate to this mental anguish. This is a serious problem for survivors. But what can we do about it? 

A few years ago I participated in a women’s study at my church on this very topic. Each week we read and discussed chapters from the book “The Lies We Believe”.  At that time in my life I was compelled to join the class because of some relational problems I was having with someone in my life. I needed to learn some mental exercises that would discipline me to throw out the junk-the negative thoughts imposed on me by other’s harsh words and see myself for who I truly was. The experience was nothing short of cathartic and the mental discipline I gained from the study was life changing. After I had worked through my current issues I found myself reflecting on my cancer experience and all the negative mental junk I had to deal with at that time. Along with the physical pain it was all so overwhelming. How I wish I’d  read this book back then..

Here’s what I learned that will hopefully help you, my fellow survivors.

• People DO survive cancer, even “incurable” cancers: It is imperative that cancer patients fight and fight hard. Remember my story when you are tempted by negative thoughts… 13 years and counting…cancer free! Don’t give up the fight…

• For Christians, our ultimate HOPE is in an ALL POWERFUL God who loved us enough to sacrifice His own son so we can have a perfect relationship with Him.  

And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith? Mt 6:30

• We are not in this fight alone. Our God will fight for us! Nehemiah 4:20

• I was not stricken with cancer because I was a bad person. Troubles, pain and sickness are a fact of life and will come to everyone at some time in their life.

God causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. Mt 5:45

• God doesn’t promise he will spare us from all pain but He does promise that in it He will make a way out. God wants me to find joy despite my circumstances.

Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. James 1:2  

So….

Couple your suffering with Joy... joy based in the fact that God is still God; He still loves you (despite the cancer), He is more powerful than any circumstance that you come up against in life, and regardless of what happens to you down here, you are still going to heaven someday where all misery will end. – from “The Lies We Believe” pg. 85

Overcoming negative thoughts isn’t easy. It takes discipline. Discipline that can be hard to muster amidst all the other challenges cancer treatments bring. Our minds are amazing systems. Negative thoughts affect our brains negatively. When we repeat the same negative thought patterns in our minds over and over again damage is done. Mental tracts are created. When we retrain our minds the toxic memories will diminish and we will find the power to avoid those mental dark places.

Whether you are a cancer survivor or not if you struggle with negative thoughts of any kind I encourage you to take the time to read these books.  

Reading list:

The Lies we Believe-Dr Chris Thurman

Who Switched Off My Brain?: Controlling toxic thoughts and emotions- Caroline Leaf

Battlefield of the Mind-Joyce Myers

Be The Match

 

  As a Good Morning America addict I was shocked to hear that our dear Robin Roberts was facing a bone marrow transplant for pre-leukemia. As I follow her story I am so impressed with the way she is taking a very personal, painful struggle and using it for good. It is apparent that this is not easy on her, but heroes like Robin know that what's best and what's easiest are  not always the same thing. Many cancer survivors can related to this desire to take something as dark as a cancer diagnosis and use it for good- she is doing just that, and doing it so well!
 I would like to take this opportunity to join her in her mission to advance the cause of marrow donation...
As one of the fortunate ones, two of my siblings were deemed to be perfect matches...TWO (a brother and a sister).
I was truly blessed.
The docs determined that my sister would be the best choice. Asking her to donate was not easy. As the mom of 4 young children, and a foster parent, she had her hands full. With no hesitation she agreed to donate and did everything in her power to convince me it was no big deal. In fact, after all was said and done she confidently told me that she would to it again for anyone.

 If anyone is considering registering but would like
more information on the process you can check out this link
http://marrow.org/Home.aspx or contact me. My sister or I would be glad to share our experience. 

You might be surprised to know that the bone marrow donation process has changed over the years and in most cases it no longer involves being anesthetized and having marrow extracted from the hip area. In my case, prior to the extraction of stem cells,  my sister Tracey took medication to increase her body's production of stem cells. A few days before the transplant date (day -2, I believe) Tracey entered out patient surgery and had a temporary port placed  in her chest (currently they may be able to use an IV instead of a port, making the process even simpler). On the day of the transplant she was hooked up to an apheresis machine.

 

apheresis machine

Her blood was circulated through the machine (via the port), stem cells were extracted and stored in the machine then the blood circulated out of the machine back into her body via an IV in her arm. Shortly after that the bag of extracted stemcells (in the millions) were brought to my hospital room and given to me via an IV drip.

The whole process for the donor takes awhile...around 4-6 hours, I think. Shortly after the donation the port was removed from her chest by one of the medical team. That was it! 

As I stated previously I was one of the fortunate ones...to have two perfect matches is nothing short of a miracle.

 Imagine this scenario in your family-your loved one is stricken by a blood cancer with only one option for a permanent remission- a transplant. Imagine all family members being tested with no match. Imagine needing to rely on the kindness of a stranger to save your loved ones life. waiting...and waiting...

(The fact is that if you are of Caucasian descent the likelihood of your finding a marrow match is 80%.  If you are of minority descent your likelihood of finding a match (all minorities as a group) is less then 30%...check out this link for statistics on ethnicity and bone marrow donation. 

http://www.helpingtami.orgasian_stem_cell_transplant_ethnicity.html)

 This scenario plays out daily in our country. It doesn't have to be this way.

 Will you learn more about donating by visit this link?   http://marrow.org/Home.aspx

 Will you use your voice to encourage others to do the same? 

If you are a cancer patient reading this blog and looking for a donor, or know of someone who is, I'd love to share your story. Just shoot me an email. 

Together, we can all make a difference!

 It's a matter of life or death...